Smith Riots With Himself In His Own House

Charles Smith overnight caused an urban disturbance after staying up all night to watch Pompey playing relegated Sunderland. Smith got agitated in the 70th minute when Sunderland failed to read the script and went 1 - 0 up. Portsmouth were without star striker LuaLua, who was still hurt three weeks after his last goal celebration (Smith was reported to be still celebrating his goal for Rovers three weeks ago). Portsmouth however got back in it and a little after 4 am NZ time scored the winner in the 88th minute. Smith momentarily forgot he was not at Fratton Park and rampaged around his lounge. "I don't expect the damage to be much over a thousand quid" said a sheepish Smith "and fortunately the television still worked after I threw it through the window".

Manager Hall commented "Young Charlie is developing that star player temperament so I expect his class to shine through when we play Computer Says No tomorrow". The manager for unbeaten Computer Says No admitted it was a daft name for a team and said that they were concerned about the impact Smith could have on the game if he "hit form". Wellington Indoor Soccer confirmed they had additional security measures in place for the game should Smith fail to curb his enthusiasm.

Elsewhere, Rovers supporters club president Liz Pollock could not be contacted to comment on the allegation by Arsene Wenger that her beloved Spurs were a bunch of liars. And despite over 400 telephone calls to Chelsea fans all over the world, none were available to comment on their FA Cup semi-final exit to Liverpool.