Wiseguy Signs For Rovers

Alex Natelli will make his debut for Rovers tomorrow after the current flu epidemic took a toll on the Rovers squad. Manager Hall has been out of action for several days and commented from his sick bed "I got delirious over the weekend, I had this dream that Stephen Gerrard scored a thirty metre equaliser in injury time in the cup final and went on to win a medal". Although a known Manchester United sympathiser, Hall said he'd rather have the cup on Merseyside than have some bunch of rough Londoners blowing bubbles in it for the next year.

As for Natelli signing for Rovers "I've been looking for a player with a vaguely Italian sounding name to add a bit of class to the team card. I mean to say the names Smith, Riddle, Hose, Fatu and Hussey are hardly classy names but Natelli brings that little bit of quality". Hall said he was now just looking for a player with a name ending in "ich" . "A Skratchmeich or Ivabigich would make us look a bit more continental" said Hall "but we'll settle for a Dummbich if we can get one"