Unlucky For Some

Land Rovers knocked in thirteen goals against Toitu United this afternoon at the Shed of Dreams, in front of a record crowd of at least ten people. Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said the game was close for the first minute until Ben White knocked in a long range pot shot and Rovers never looked back. "We didn't want them to go scoreless" said Hall "so I put Lance 'The Cripple' Edwards in goal in the second half who had only recently returned from breaking his wrist". Hall said Toitu had their own goal keeper issues when first choice keeper Craig Harris was taken out before the match by an over-enthusiastic Chris House from his own team.

Hall tried out Charles Smith as striker but had to pull him off after eight minutes as he was in danger of breaking the side wall. "Charlie was looking as sharp as a double-decker bus in the first half" said Hall "but to his credit he stuck at it and finally got one with a minute to go when presented with a ball that even my mother would have struggled to miss". Hall said he was pleased overall with the pre-season romp, but knew it would be tougher from here on in. "We'll have to lift our game on that performance if we going to win the league again" confessed Hall "but it was a good blow out as we hadn't played for two weeks".

Final Score: Land Rovers 13 Toitu Te Whenua 1

Derby Day Dawns

After thunder storms overnight, the day has dawned fine for the first ever local derby clash between Land Rovers and Toitu Te Whenua (United) at the Shed of Dreams. "We've got Charlie up front promising to make a spectacle of himself if he scores" said Hall "so I suspect they start as slight favourites for this one". Hall said he respected Toitu Manager Dale O'Brien and had heard he had made some good signings in his seventeen man squad. "You've got to show respect for any team in this league" said Hall "but I have to say we're all relieved that Alex Natelli is on the bench as we know he's got blistering pace". The match kicks off at 12.30 and is expected to draw a bigger than average attendance to the main stand at the Shed of Dreams.

Hall Renews Interest In Halstead

Left with Charlie Smith as his starting Striker for tomorrow's big local derby at the Shed Of Dreams, Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall has renewed his interest in Team Wellington striker Peter Halstead. "Peter had a good game this weekend scoring two goals in the five nil demolition of Waikato" said Hall "and we're prepared to up our offer for a one game guest appearance to two pints". Hall said he'd approached Team Wellington through their web site but had yet to have the courtesy of a reply. "I think some of these outdoor players don't have the respect for the indoor game that it deserves" said Hall.

Smith To Start As Striker

After months of bleating on about not getting a chance up front, Charles Smith will start up front tomorrow for Land Rovers in their local derby against Toitu United at the Shed of Dreams. "Charlie scored a goal once way back at the beginning of the season before last" said Hall "and with hindsight it was a rather flukey toe punt from his own half". Smith warmed up over the weekend by watching Pompey demolish Reading 3 - 1, before carefully studying Rooney's impressive hat-trick for Manchester United". Smith said he would be putting himself about in the heart of the Toitu United defence saying "I expect they won't be used to my mix of sheer skill and controlled agression".

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he'd seen little evidence of the "control" either in Smith's ball playing ability or in his general on field demeanour. "It's put up or shut up time" said Hall "and we're all hoping he doesn't celebrate goals like LuaLua".

Riddle Hired As "Advisor"

Former Land Rover Player Chris Riddle has been taken on as an advisor on defensive techniques following comments recently made by Toitu United Manager Dale O'Brien. "We realised we'd lost a bit of spine since Chris left" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall "even Charlie is turning into a powder puff". Hall said with Riddle living in South Auckland, he was well placed to advise on the defensive tactics needed to neutralise suspect opposition tactics. "Chris was the master of the unsubtle retaliation" said Hall "when Chris said hello to an opposition player they knew what langauage he was speaking". Hall said Vinnie Jones was also considered for the position but was not considered hard enough. Riddle will remain in Auckland.

Toitu United Lay Down Challenge

League Newcomers Toitu United this afternoon laid down the challenge to the experienced Land Rovers Division 7 Championship winning team. Toitu United Manager Dale O'Brien said in an e mail to his team "a bonus will be awarded to anyone who manages to get the game ball stuck in Stephen Hall's mouth". Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said Toitu United would gain little traction trying to intimidate Land Rovers, as Rovers had learnt everything there is to know about the dark side if the game from former player Chris Riddle. "These guys are now clutching at straws" said Rovers Manager Stave Hall "and Charlie is our enforcer so any nonsense and he'll be taking care of it". Hall said Rovers looked forward to playing Toitu off the park. "I don't perceive any threat at this point from Toitu" said Hall "but no doubt with a degree of complacency on our part, Toitu might get to within ten goals of us". Last season Rovers lost to ATFC after being similarly confident going into the match.

Orange Manager Steps Down

Aaron Holmwood (left) stepped down this afternoon from the position of Land Rovers Orange Distribution Manager after the team complained they'd never seen any oranges. "I quite like a slice of orange at half time" said Andy Auer "but frankly we never saw any not even during the final". Land Rovers Chairman Dean Rossiter said the parting was on good terms as Holmwood was spending his time these days playing with software, and the orange budget had in any event been diverted into "management entertainment budget".

In other news Rovers have renewed their sponsorship with Tony's IT Service after the sponsor kindly agreed to renew the deal with the purchase of some new kit. "We know you just can't miss with Tony's" said Rossiter "and we're pleased to wrap up the deal as we were concerned that Toitu United were now in the market". Rossiter said Rovers now needed to beat Toitu United on the field to justify the faith of the sponsor.

Local Derby - Look Out Toitu

Wellington Indoor sports confirmed this afternoon that Land Rovers first game of the new season would be against local rivals Toitu Te Whenua. Toitu this afternoon lost their opening fixture against Statistics, and the statistics indeed didn't make pretty reading with a 11 - 7 loss. Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall (right) said Toitu were now facing the realities of a tough league and Land Rovers intended to do no favours to the new comers. "Locals derbies often arouse the passions on both sides" said Hall "but we'll be focussing on our game and not letting and cross office rivalries get the better of us". Hall would not disclose his starting line up but did say Charlie Smith would start in an unusual role where he could "put up or shut up".

In other news, Hall said he was offering the entire squad tomorrow off training to recognise the magnificant effort of Port Vale qualifying for the fourth round of the Carling Cup. "Let's just say that we know we have a West Ham supporter in our vicinity, and we know Vale won't be playing them in the cup as they went out to galmour club Chesterfield". Hall said he'd followed Vale through thick and thin and today was he was feeling "a bit thicker than usual".

Smith To Train As Football Manager

Charles Smith is now the proud new owner of a shiny new PSP after stopping off at the warehouse on Friday night to buy a bottle of Coca Cola. “I had a few quiets in Auckland before heading of to buy some soft drink” said Smith “but then I spotted this PSP and decided I had to have one “. Smith soon lost the courage of his convictions when meeting up with his wife ten minutes later, and promptly hid the item on his person. Several days later after coming up with a really reasonable excuse why he’d purchased the PSP he finally confessed what he’d done. “Obviously I needed the PSP for the long flight to the UK” exclaimed Smith “ and I’ve ordered the new Football Manager game so that I can acquire the skills to maybe one day graduate to being an indoor football manager”. Smith confirmed that the purchase had cost him but went on to say “the flashing lights of the PSP look really pretty as they reflect off the doghouse roof”

Don't Throw In The Chair Mick

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said that it was good to see Team Wellington boss Mick Waite passionate about his football this afternoon at Newtown Stadium. Mick Waite hurled a chair big wrestling style onto the grass verge and the feeling was he wasn't in full agreement with several decisions by the linesmen. "I thought Mick was practising to do three rounds with the The Bushwhackers, he certainly has a physique for pro-wrestling".

Hall said Waite lost the plot when a linesmen disallowed what would have been the Team Wellington winning goal. "The linesmen seemed to be overawed that former Leeds United player Danny Hay was playing in their defence" said Hall "so whenever Danny yelled off-side he gave it even if there wasn't a Team Wellington player in the opposition half". The game finished 1 - 1 and featured a superbly taken Danny Hay own goal. "It's too early in the season for Mick to be throwing in either the chair or the towel" said Hall "we'll offer him whatever support he needs".

Hall said he was impressed again with Wellington striker Peter Halstead (pictured above). "Peter is our kind of player and I'm sure he'd rapidly adapt to the indoor game" said Hall "and the boys would have a whip round to pay his seven dollar indoor match fee". Hall said Rovers would consider buying Halstead a beer or two as an inducement".

Calendar Boys

Land Rovers Marketing Manager Heather Fernandes has mooted the idea of a Rovers Pin Up Calendar to raise funds for the new season. "Let's face it, any team with Mark 'The Beast"Fatu (left) in the squad has an immediate advantage in the pin up market" said Fernandes "but with the Irish appeal of Eddie Hussie (below right) and rugged fireman look of Ben White, and I think you'll see we are on to a winner here". Rovers have been getting a good deal of International attention recently but the huge cash donation from a rich Russian benefactor has not yet materialised. "We seem to get lots of requests from Russians wanting money for sick relatives, but none so far who want to give us money without wanting money from us first". said Fernandes. Whether the project went ahead would depend on advance orders Fernandes said, and a special Charlie Smith edition would be considered if it proved a hit with Pompey supporters.

Riddle Leads Smith Astray

Charlie Smith was found this evening in Auckland and said he had little recollection of his night out with Chris Riddle (left). "I know he is a bad influence but you expect that from a scummer" said Smith "but at least I don't recall watching the Chelski game go the pain isn't as bad as it could have been if I'd seen us lose". Smith said he would return to Wellington tomorrow but wouldn't be bringing Riddle back with him as Land Rovers disciplinary record had improved considerably since Riddle moved on. "He's doing alright up here passing himself off as a Citrix consultant" said Smith "I suppose he has to be an expert in something considering he hasn't been too clever at picking a decent football team to support".

Smith Missing

Charlie Smith (pictured) was missing this morning in the Big Smoke of Auckland, after learning his beloved Pompey had lost 2 - 1 to Chelski in a Premier League fixture at Stamford Bridge. "We're very worried" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall "he was last seen in the company of a very unsavoury looking character who we think was Chris Riddle, and who knows what damage they might have done to the city". Hall asked Rovers supporters in Auckland to look out for the tell tale signs of a trail of devastation, most likely around bars that cater for English football holligan types. "We just hope we find him before he does some interior redesign on a pub" said Hall "but it could have been worse, at least Pompey weren't playing the Saints". Hall said Smith would no doubt surface and it might be just as well he was moving to the Wild West of Perth as New Zealand could only take so much of this.

Smith Backs Down

After international discussion on the Football 365 web site, Pompey fanatic Charles Smith has backed down under pressure on his prediction that Pompey would win 3 - 0 against Chelsea in the match starting at 3 am New Zealand time. "I've considered all the feedback including that from various pensioners in the London area, and I admit I was a bit optimistic, I now think after due consideration we'll only win 2 - 0". Smith who is on a prolonged tour of Auckland bars said he would be watching the game live on television as he "didn't want to miss Chelsea meeting their match".

Smith In Premature Celebration

Charlie Smith was this morning celebrating Pompey's three - nil win over Chelsea in his plush Auckland hotel room. Smith was so confident of a Pompey victory, as he had seen it all in his dreams last night, that he had foregone the traditional waiting for the game to be played and gone straight to the post-match celebration. "Sometimes you just have that feeling that you're right, and this one is a very clear vision as I see Chelsea heads going down as Cole scores his hat-trick".

Smith in Auckland for no reason in particular, is threatening to liven up Auckland's dismal night life with a small tour of the central city establishments. "I'll be having a few quiets and will be initiating Scummer Riddle into the fine art of celebrating success" said Smith "it's been a long time since The Saints won anything so he'll need a few lessons". Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said Rovers had a week off so providing Smith got himself back to Wellington by this time next week he'd be considered for selection.

Smith has previously indicated he will streak down the Wainui Golf course if Pompey are top of the league by November.

McIntosh Move Mooted

Colin McIntosh said this evening that he didn't think his final winning hat-trick had been given enough credit and he had given thought to signing for new local rivals Toitu United. McIntosh said his unflashy but clinical finishing skills had made the difference in the final and he was looking forward to Rovers making a better offer for the coming season or he might take his silky skills elsewhere. Dale O'Brien the Toitu United Manager said he had spoken to several Rovers players about possible transfers to his side but was not disclosing at this point who he was talking to.

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he was unconcerned about attempts to raid the Rovers squad and he was confident Rovers would be more than a match for whatever team Toitu United put out on the park. "I don't think these Toitu guys will be hardened to the realities of playing at this level, and young Dale has a bit to learn about big time indoor football management". Hall said McIntosh had got some big ideas ever since he came back from his recent visit to Singapore but added "no player was bigger than the club".

Smith Turning To The Dark Side

Charlie Smith confessed today that his visit to Auckland for Labour weekend would include a few beers with former Land Rovers and Southampton supporter Chris Riddle. "I'd better look up the scummer whilst I'm up there" confessed Smith "as although it is generally considered unnatural for Pompey supporters to associate with his ilk, his Rovers connection makes it acceptable in this case". Smith said Riddle might yet be converted to supporting Pompey as he was made of the "right stuff" given his disciplinary record. "I think he'd fit in in a Pompey crowd providing he left the Saints shirt in his closet" confirmed Smith. Smith said he understood the Auckland media had been tipped of to the visit and a photo or two of the visit may yet appear on the net.

Ben White and the Eight Dwarfs

Fans of Ben White today claimed that the change in fortunes for Rovers in the run into winning the Championship were down to the introduction of his defensive qualities into the team. "The team wasn't going very well until Ben came on the scene" said a delirious female fan clearly smitten with the Rovers central defender "and frankly he dwarfs the rest of the team in terms of football ability". White is seen here (above dancing with Charlie Smith) in action from the final and keen observers have pointed out that he does not appear to dwarfing the enigmatic Charlie Smith. Smith said through his agent that he didn't feel belittled by the arrival of White even though White had no scored more goals than him.

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said White had been a useful addition to the squad but it was unfair to suggest the other squad members were the eight dwarfs. Hall said there was reasonably clear photographic evidence that White hardly dwarfed Smith. "I think some female fans are getting a bit carried away" said Hall "but it might explain why Ben kept the Championship trophy for most of the last week". Hall said he'd have a talk to White to make sure fame wasn't going to his head.

Rovers Reject Robot Refresh

Land Rovers Chairman Dean Rossiter (right) announced this afternoon that the club had reneged on its earlier promise to go 100% electronic and replace the entire squad with robots. The move to a completely robotic team would have been the first time in the world that this had been achieved by an indoor team, with only Chelsea having produced a robotic team in the outdoor game. "We value out people as they are our greatest resource" said Rossiter "and as it turned out the costs of buying robots was outside our current budget unless we got a rich Russian backer".

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said the boys had earned their reprieve after winning the Championship. "Let's face it you wouldn't get the entertainment value from the robot that you get from Charlie Smith" said Hall "although a robotic referee has merit after watching the Team Wellington game on Sunday". Hall said the announcement of a rival LINZ indoor club called Toitu Te Whenua would keep Rovers on their toes as poaching of players was now a likely factor in team selection. "We're really hoping their will be a local derby so we can show them some championship winning football" confessed Hall.

Not Waiting For Waite Call

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall (right) said this afternoon it was far too early in the season to be offering assistance to beleaguered Team Wellington boss Mick Waite (below left) as things may yet come right without the help of the Championship winning manager. Hall said that Team Wellington had followed the script all the supporters had expected in their 2 - 1 loss to Manawatu yesterday at Newtown Park. "I was only saying before the match that they'd come out all fired up and take an early lead" suggested Hall "before fading in the second half losing 2 - 1 in the final minutes". Hall wasn't claiming any psychic powers, it is just that Team Wellington have followed this pattern about ten or so times previously. Hall said on paper the team looked better this year and some of the new signing looked promising. Hall also said he thought Peter Halstead was worth his starting position and he would "be welcome to have a match for Rovers any time he liked". Halstead was not available for comment as this went to the net.

Rovers Seek Management Guru

Land Rovers Chairman Dean Rossiter (left) was today trying to get hold of Management Guru Tom Peters (below right) to talk to him about a new leadership book based on the Land Rovers success story. "I think we always need more management books" said Rossiter "as it gives senior managers something to do". Rossiter said that he had come up with a title for the book based on the exciting vision of the Rovers Management team to be the best Indoor Football Club in the world by 2090. "I think it is our Big Hairy Audacious goals not to mention our big hairy audacious players that are at the heart of this clubs success story" said Rossiter "so it seems entirely appropriate that Tom Peters should write a book about us called In Search of Goals".

Rovers Start Pre-Season Training

Land Rovers Management took a new and innovative approach today to pre-season training when they got not only players to undertake the training, but also the management team and supporters. "Too many clubs expect the players only to undertake pre-season training" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but we feel that unless the supporters also go through the experience then they really don't understand what the players have to go through". Land Rovers Chairman Dean Rossiter said this was all part of Rovers vision to be the best Indoor Football team in Wellington by 30 June 2030. "The management team has recently confirmed the vision and to get there we need both fitter players and more appreciative fans" said Rossiter "and we think climbing over blocks is a pretty good start to where we want to go". Rossiter said that consideration had been given to moving the visions target date to 30 August 2030 but this had been rejected as "we wanted an ambitious target".

Hall Feels McClaren's Pain

In a week where Land Rovers won the Championship and England lost to Croatia, Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he could understand what England Manager Steve McClaren was going through. "We didn't have the greatest of starts but we came through adversity and put together some winning performances" said Hall "but we found the winning combination and so must England". Hall said he also empathised with England goalkeeper Paul Robinson missed a kick resulting in headlines of "Robinson Clouseau". Hall said he also knew the pressures on a goalkeeper in a big match. "I played in goal in the final after Charlie had a few problems like Robinson in the semi" said Hall "and frankly I rose to the big occasion and played a blinder". Hall said he'd be happy to get involved with the England Camp if they "needed a few pointers".

Smith To Make Training Video

Charlie Smith announced this afternoon that he would be releasing a training video for young and old on what not to do when defending. Smith who played in a defensive role for some of the Grand Final said that he would use video taken during the Grand Final to illustrate for younger players the traps one could fall into. "For example in looking at the still (above) where I am defending against an indirect free kick" said Smith "and even though Ben and Steve were both screaming at me to mark the player off the ball I steadfastly stayed with the man on the ball who was required to pass it". The result of course was that the player passed it to the unmarked player on his right and he knocked it in the goal at a delicate point in the match. "Let's face it" said Smith "if I hadn't given that one away there would have been no tension in the last couple of minutes so I did the game a favour really". Smith said he would be asking television genius Mark "The Beast" Fatu for his advice.

Spoils Of Victory

Land Rovers were treated to the spoils of victory this morning in the first of a number of celebratory morning teas. "Zephyr Consulting came up with a Chocolate Cake for morning tea" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "so we'll be having further discussions with them about what we can do to boost their profile in return for a new season sponsorship deal". Hall said he had been busy parading the trophy around and was pleased that a formal function had been organised by the current sponsor Tony's IT Service next week to celebrate the win. Rovers will commence pre-season training immediately as Hall said there was "no point resting on our laurels".

Rovers Chairman Dean Rossiter indicated the Rovers would be going through a re-visioning exercise over the next few days to see if the current vision to be the best team in Wellington by 30 June 2030 was still vibrant and relevant. "This is an exercise where we want to create a powerful vision that both our sponsors and our team can be totally committed to" beamed Rossiter "so if anyone knows where we can get hold of a sensory deprivation isolation tank by Saturday then please let me know". Rossiter hinted that some changes would be needed in the management team as "the boys haven't seen any oranges yet".

ROVERS RETURN - C H A M P I O N S ! ! !

In front of a fervent pro Land Rovers crowd of eight or nine people at the Shed of Dreams, Land Rovers this morning sensationally beat favourites Matt Is Mad to take out the Division 7 Championship 7 to 5. Land Rovers played brilliantly across the park and the performance was built on a solid defensive foundation of Ben White, Eddie Hussey and goal keeping sensation Steve Hall. In attack Colin McIntosh scored a hat-trick and Andy Auer also got two whilst super sub Charlie Smith looked very solid off the bench. Rovers also employed the wizardry of Mystery Matt for the final and his mazy dribbles tormented the Mad defensive line.

The game was close but Rovers were never behind from the outset and played with purpose and passion. After opening up a two goal lead Rovers were pegged back to 2 - 2 before taking a decisive two goal lead to go in 4 - 2 up at half time. The second half was close but every time Matt Is Mad pegged Rovers back, they were hit on the break and the lead was restored. "Colin and Andy scored a couple of goals each and I think it's fair to say we took the game to them and deserved our win".

Hall said Rovers had a quiet and restrained post-match debriefing at the Black Harp where a bemused lunch time crowd assembled to look at the trophy. "No sooner had we left the Harp than we ran smack bang into television cameras" said Hall "so I paraded the trophy for the cameras as you do". Hall thanked the supporters for sticking with the team through dark times after losing their first two matches and also acknowledged the role of the squad members who didn't play in the final Jordan Petersen, Lance Edwards and Mark Fatu. "Everyone played their part as well as all the guys from outside the squad who played for us when we were short" said Hall.

The win was the first small step in the Rovers vision of being the top team in Wellington by 30 June 2030. Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he could neither confirm nor deny that the New Zealand Knights were discussing a management role for him with the club.

Final Score: LAND ROVERS 7 Matt is Mad 5

Rovers Underdogs

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) said this evening that Land Rovers must be underdogs going into the Division 7 Final tomorrow against Matt Is Mad. "These Mad guys beat us only two weeks ago and have lost only one game all season" said Hall "they're a physical side who aren't afraid to put it about so we'll have to try blinding skill as an alternative tactic to our usual fair". Hall said the squad had trained well all week but would now have to turn their attention to football. "Some people think Indoor Football is a matter of life or death" said Hall "but I know it is far more important than that".

Rovers received a message of support today from Rovers sponsor Tony Lester who is currently in Armenia. Tickets are still available through Nigerian scalpers and were rumoured to have hit the $1000 a ticket this afternoon on several dodgey scammer sites. "We don't recommend you pay that for them" said Hall "as we could sneak you in for a backhander of $50 to the team fund".

Rovers Kick Off at The Shed of Dreams at 11.30 and are expected to pack in at least three people to the Western Grandstand.

Smith Dropped

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall today announced he had dropped Charlie Smith (pictured) from the starting line up for the Grand Final against Matt Is Mad. "Charlie got off to a sluggish start last week and Infinity scored six before he tuned into the game" said Hall "so I've made the difficult decision to start myself in goal and bring Charlie on once things have settled down". Hall today also had words with Andy Auer about his non-appearance last week and has decided to bring him back onto the bench for the final. "He's lucky to be playing" said Hall "but we need him to do a job in the final an he is a good option to come off the bench". Hall said that Rovers had gone through their normal routines over the last few days and weren't doing anything different for the final. "Obviously the media are swirling about a bit more than usual but the boys are taking it in their stride" said Hall.

Nash Call Up Considered

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said this morning that he'd take another look at George Nash after Scotland beat France 1 - 0. "I haven't really given too much thought to playing a Scotsmen in the final until now" said Hall "but with England drawing with Macedonia and Scotland beating France, then maybe I'll need to reconsider what a Scottish influence could bring to the team". Nash who has previously failed to negotiate a suitable fee for his services, as like all Scotsmen he didn't get out of bed for less than $500 an hour, and also wanted a goal bonus of $1000 per goal. "He's probably a bit rich for us" said Hall "but let's face it the Scots are doing something right if they can beat France. Hall said Rovers would consider Nash if his fee came down to something in the vicinity of a pint after the game. Nash was not available for comment by the media unless his fee was paid up front.

Now Is The Auer

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall has a difficult decision to make on whether to select Andy Auer for Wednesday's Grand Final against the Matt Is Mad. Andy went AWOL before the semi-final and failed to show after being selected to play. "Andy assured me he would be there" said Hall "so given we haven't heard from him he'll need to have won a free trip to an island where his cell phone didn't work ".

Hall said he had considered making a search of islands in that category but unfortunately money from a Nigerian Backer failed to materialise after promises that Hall had had a windfall from Nigerian royalty. "Fortunately I suspected that my ten million dollar windfall had a hint of a scam about it and didn't send them the two thousand seeding money"confessed Hall "but maybe it wasn't a scam and Andy has cashed in big time". Hall said Auer wasn't out of final contention but looked forward to hearing a plausible story of why he hadn't been in touch.

Pollock Advised To Cool It

Supporters Club President Liz Pollock (pictured) was this morning told by Club Chairmen Dean Rossiter to settle down and focus on assisting Rovers plan for the Grand Final. Pollock appeared to be getting carried away with the Rovers semi-final victory of Infinity, a team that had earlier beaten the ATFC team captained by her husband 16 - 0. "I think Liz got a bit overwhelmed after hubby Jason swore that Infinity were stacked with Brazilian players and pretty much unbeatable" said Rossiter "and when Rovers won she went into that mode where she started making party hats out of newspaper".

Meanwhile Rovers players have been asked to keep a low profile in the lead up to the game as media interest built in the Grand Final. Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he had been surprised at the level of interest since the semi-final win "We ran into the media gaggle on the way back from the game as it happens" said Hall "there we were innocently crossing the road and five or six media types sauntered up looking for an exclusive". Hall said he could only see things getting worse between now and the Grand Final. "You know what the media set are like" said Hall "so I've told the boys to be cautious when passing wine bars and coffee shops".

Hall Downplays Win

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) was this afternoon downplaying the semi-final win over Infinity saying the job was not completed. "There's no point winning the semi-final and losing at the final hurdle" said Hall "and we lost to Matt Is Madd only last week so they can't be underestimated by any means". Hall said Land Rovers would again be underdogs going into the final and although the fans expectations would be high, the team needed to stay grounded. "We'll have the usual training this week and hopefully the boys won't get too carried away at the rugby on Friday night" said Hall "but we'll be pretty low key on the run into to the big day". Supporters Club President Liz Pollock was more buoyant "We're gonna win the league, we're gonna win the league" screamed Pollock.

Come Back Kings In Semi-Final Glory

Land Rovers Football Club are through to their first ever final today after coming from 6 - 1 down to beat hot favourites Infinity at the Shed of Dreams. After scoring first Rovers saw six unanswered goals fly into their net before regathering and taking the fight to the opposition. "Infinity were on fire in the those first seven minutes and it was something of a shock to find ourselves five goals down" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but this team has great belief and incredibly got back to 6 - 6 before Infinity scored again to be 7 - 6 up at half time".

The second half was pretty much controlled by Rovers including some quite outstanding goals. "There were so many great goals it's hard to know where to start in describing them" said Hall "but at one point Ben White returned a goalkeepers kick with interest and almost broke the net".

At the defensive end Charlie Smith (pictured) looked a bit ragged in goal early on but was solid thereafter. "Charlie lost a bit of skin off his knees for this one but full credit to him for his second half performance after a horror start" said Hall. Smith was proudly showing his battle scarred knees to anyone who walked past after the game.

Rovers now play Matt Is Madd in the Grand Final at the Shed of Dreams next Wednesday at 11.30 am. Tickets are now on sale at Hall Tickets Limited.

Final Score: Land Rovers 11 Infinity 9

Six Men and a Hussey

Star player Eddie Hussey(pictured) holds the key to the match today against Infinity according to Land Rovers manager Steve Hall. "We've got one of the best attacking records in the league but we're a bit susceptible at the back" said Hall "but we seem to lift to another level when Eddie is playing mainly because he does the work of two players". Hall was confident Rovers would score a few goals today against Infinity so the key was to close down the Infinity attack. "We've been working intensely with Charlie on his distribution from the back as he does tend to spray it about a bit" said Hall "so if Charlie can show some discipline today then we'll have a good platform to build on". The match kicks off at 2.30 at the Shed of Dreams and a crowd of four or five is expected to pack in the Shed 1 Stand.

Rovers Ready

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) says Rovers are ready and raring to go for the semi-final fixture tomorrow against Infinity at the Shed of Dreams. "We've got a good side out for this fixture so we'll give them a good run for their money" said Hall. Infinity who finished first in the group are the hot favourites but Hall said he doesn't mind the underdog tag. "We'll be hoping they get a bit over-confident and our boys will be well up for it" said Hall. One concern is the unavailabilty of Orange Distribution Manager Aaron Homwood who will be in Melbourne. "Don't you just know someone will want an orange at a vital time" said Hall "and they'll be right out of luck". Hall denied media reports that players were taking wagers on the oppostion to win.

Curse On Rovers

Suggestions of a Curse arose today when Supporters Club President Liz Pollock mysteriously had problems with a tooth dropping out. Hard on the heels of a gym accident by Marketing Manager Heather Fernandes, the suspicion must be that another team has been utilising a curse against the Land Rovers team. "A fortnight ago I didn't believe in this curse kind of thing" said Rovers manager Steve Hall "but since then I've watched twenty or so episodes of the programme Supernatural and besides scaring the hell out of me, it has allowed me to see these events for what they are". Hall said clearly Rovers needed to consider employing counter tactics and consideration must now be given to employing a team witch doctor or psychic. "We shouldn't knock the dark arts" said Hall "and if it can give us a two or three goal advantage then I'm all for it".

Unlucky Break

Land Rovers Marketing Manager was the recipient of bad karma yesterday after laughing at Land Rovers midfielder Lance Edwards on Friday over his broken wrist. Within twenty-four hours Heather had broken her own wrist and now fully understands the meaning of "what goes around comes around". "I slipped over at the Gym" said Heather "and no I was not on the way back from the wine bar". Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he had never been in a gym but "they sounded like the kind of places one should avoid for the good of your health". Hall said the club might consider a gym ban if this sort of thing carried on.

It's Finals Time

Land Rovers will play old enemy Infinity at 2.30 on Wednesday at the Shed Of Dreams. This will be the fifth meeting of the teams this year and it had been pretty much one way traffic to Infinity until Rovers sneaked a win in the last match 6 - 5. "We're really up against it in this one" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall "these guys are the Chelsea of Wellington Indoor Division 7 and we're the Bolton". Hall said he'd stayed up into the wee small hours to watch Bolton dismantle Liverpool so even a smaller club could bring down the big guns on its day. "Bolton had a very dodgey linesmen call go their way" said Hall "but I can't see Rovers getting any assistance from the officials".

After five hours of the Aussie Rules final yesterday, Hall said he was looking forward to watching ARL final tonight between the Storm and the Broncos . "I sometimes think we'd do quite well at indoor Rugby League if someone would just invent the game" said Hall "and if Billy Slater (pictured) wants a game of indoor football any time, he's in my starting line up".