Wellington Wanderers

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said today that with a possible Wellington based team in the Hyundai A-league, Rovers would be looking to leverage off opportunites for commercial enhancement of the Land Rovers brand. "We're in talks with a number of people including George "give me the money" Nash and this may result in a new sponsorship deal and a rebranding of our main product lines to reflect new delivery channels."We'd be prepared to look at changing the name of the club to Rangers and move into blue shirts if some serious cash was put forward" said Hall. Hall said a name change to Wellington Wanderers was always possible for the Knights although Wellington Wind would probably get the wind up opponents. "We think that Team Wellington, the A League franchise and Land Rovers should join forces for the good of the game" said Hall "which only leaves the other two clubs to see the benefits and we're there".

Rovers Future To Be Reviewed

Land Rovers have announced a review this morning in light of the fact that the club needs to access what management structure will best fulfil the vision of being the best club in Wellington by 2030. "We have always said we'd like to avoid a restructure" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) "but with our Chairman Deano moving to Oz and me having moved on to a new day job, now is a good time to review whether Rovers should continue and if so under what structure". Hall said he'd asked the marketing arm to come up with a slogan for the review and after many hours down at a local bar, they'd come up with 'great to brilliant' as the branding name. "I'm not much for these labels myself and we had to rein ourselves in from calling it Valentine's Day Massacre" said Hall "but you can be sure we'll be consulting people on this review before we implement the decision we made last week". Hall said boxes of continental chocolates might influence decision making but sending flowers would be a complete waste of time.

Smith Reacts To Goalkeeper Quips

Charlie Smith today reacted to comments yesterday from Rovers Manager Steve Hall that he would not be featuring in the finals line up as goalkeeper. "It's not my fault that Ten Left Feet scored ten goals against us two weeks ago" said Smith "there was no one tackling in front of me, the ref was against me and they got at least nine flukey goals". Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he needed to make a tough call in the semi-final and dropped Smith as keeper. "I thought Charlie (pictured) wasn't at his best in that game after his trip to England" said Hall "I thought he was lacking a bit of fitness and flexibility". Hall said yelling and screaming at the other players was an important part of playing in goal and he expected to have the defenders cover the opposition in the final. "We're going to have to tackle hard in the final" said Hall "but if we can play like we did in the first match against them then we'll be in with a chance".

Finals Line Under Wraps

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall was keeping his finals line close to his chest this evening as he contemplated the selection puzzle that Ten Left Feet would provide for the Grand Final. The game will be played in the Shed of Dreams at 1 pm on Wednesday 21 February 2007 with what is expected to be a capacity crowd. "I'd like to take this opportunity to thanks the major sponsor Tony's IT Service, as well as our other sponsor the social club as they are a vital part of the success of this club". Hall said he would ponder his selections and wasn't ruling anyone out at this point although a strong line up would be needed. "I don't want to give too much away but I think you can probably guess that Charlie won't be in goal". Hall said he would be having a few sleepless nights over selections as he knew all the squad were keen to get on the park, but winning the trophy was his main aim. "I think all the boys would like to see another trophy in the cabinet" said Hall "and all players will have contributed to that over the season if we pull it off".

Smith Ecstatic

Land Rovers utility Charlie Smith was this morning ecstatic that the Poms had beaten the Aussies to win the tri-nations cricket. "I was worried about moving to Perth when all England were known for was losing" said Smith "but the boys have pulled one out of the fire and now I can go over to Perth and wind people up for the rest of the year". Smith said the icing on the cake would be England winning both the cricket and rugby world cups. "I've long since given up on England winning the real World Cup" said Smith "but victory in the cricket and rugby will be a reasonable substitute". Smith said he planned to celebrate the cricket today loudly with family and friends.

Adelaide Inspire

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said this evening he hoped the Rovers players were inspired by the performance of Adelaide United in this evenings preliminary final of the Hyundai A-League. "That was a gutsy performance and Adelaide looked like they were out on their feet in extra time" said Hall "but they took out the penalty shoot out and the post match celebration was right up there with world class kissing and hugging". Hall said the last minute loss to Melbourne last week must have gutted Adelaide but the had the fortitude to come back and get into the Grand Final. "I see parallels with our loss to Ten Left Feet" said Hall "and we have to have the guts to come back and take them out in the final" Hall said he'd be watching the game next week to see what lessons could be drawn in playing under grand final pressure. "I'd have to say the Aussie Cricket team lost their bottle" said Hall "so not all Aussie teams have the ability to go on and be winners".

White Out

With the final Grand Final line up yet to be named, the availability of star defender come goal scorer Ben White is in doubt. "Apparently Ben is going up north for a while" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall "he's decided that Whangarei might be a good spot to spend a few days". Hall said obviously White would be missed but negotiations were still underway to ensure that White starts in the final line up. "The lad is keen to play as you might guess" said Hall "we're huge underdogs for this one and we need all hands on deck if we're going to have any chance at all". Hall said he'd been reflecting on what went wrong in the last match and thought the fact that he wasn't playing had contributed to the defeat. "They don't call me The Cat for nothing" said Hall "I pay a small retainer for the privilege"

Smith Farewell All On

Negotiations between Mrs Smith and shady agent George "I don't get out of bed for less than $500 an hour" Nash were successful today in restoring the farewell function of Charlie Smith. "I got Charlie thinking about beer" said Nash today from his hideaway mansion "and about thirty seconds later he was telling everyone to meet him at the Brewery Bar at 4 pm on the 16th for a few quiet ales". Nash said he'd have Smith tucked up in bed by no later than noon the following day and said Mrs Smith should not worry about the evening. "The worst Charlie ever gets up to is dancing on tables with blokes" said Nash "so he's not likely to get into too much trouble". Nash welcomed all supporters to come along and join in at the event. "The more the merrier" said Nash "and I've dropped my hosting rate to $400 an hour especially for the evening".

Smith Farewell Cancelled

The farewell for Charlie Smith was called off today after Smith revealed he had a double booking with "The Mrs". Farewell organiser and Land Rovers wannabe George "Sign The Contract Here" Nash said he was astounded that Smith had built up the event for six months only to want to spend the night with his wife. "What sort of an excuse is that" said Nash "he has the rest of his life to spend with his Mrs and all we were asking was to have a few quiets over ten or eleven hours". Smith said it was a tough call to make going out with the lads or spending a night in with the old lady. "I didn't take this decision lightly" said Smith "I weighed up having a few pints and put that against watching the tele at home, and the tele won".

Rovers Charge Into Final

Land Rovers charged through their semi-final this afternoon against Brookers at the Shed of Dreams after a stuttering start. Rovers got off to the worst possible start when underdog Brookers had the temerity to open the scoring. "I was playing in goal and they scored by shooting off the side wall and into the far side of the net" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall "I know you'd be wondering why I didn't pick it up but it was actually very well done". Rovers started to get back into it but it was a good tussle early on and was 2 - 2 about half way through the half. "It looked like they were really up for a fight" said Hall "but from them on they collapsed and resorted to long range pot shots which frankly didn't challenge me a lot in goal". The second half was one way traffic as Ben White started making his forward runs and slotting the ball into the opposition net. "We can't get carried away with that as Ten Left Feet are several degrees better and trounced Post It in the other semi" said Hall "we'll need to lift it several times to be in with a chance in the final and we're definitely underdogs".

Final Score: Rovers 13 Brookers 2

Mystery Matt Set To Dismantle Brookers

The return of Mystery Matt to the Rovers semi-final line up should provide some much needed punch. "I'm working first and foremost on defending and I'll be back to marshal the defence from goalkeeper" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall "we can't defend in a nightmare fashion again and I think I yell better when I'm in goal". Mystery Matt would be utilised to provide extra goal scoring capability. "I'm not going to try and curb Ben White going forward" said Hall "but he'll certainly know I expect him top come back and cover after I yell and scream a bit". Brookers have only managed three wins all season and two of those were against Provoke Evolution. "On paper they shouldn't trouble us" said Hall "but unfortunately the game isn't player on paper".

Business As Usual

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) said it had been business as usual for Rovers training and he had done nothing special ahead of Rovers semi-final clash on Wednesday. "Obviously it is a public holiday tomorrow and I'd expect the boys to take themselves for a light jog of five kilometres or so" said Hall "but we want them fired up and ready for the match on Wednesday". Hall said he'd give a bit of a pep talk before the match and expected the defence to tighten up over the last match. "We can't afford another display like that" said Hall "and I've taken the precaution of putting myself in goal as frankly I'm a better keeper than young Charlie". Hall said Smith was looking a little unstable given Pompey lost again in the weekend but it was hoped he'd be along to the game for some verbal encouragement.

Pollock Calls For Full Support

Land Rovers Supporters Club President Liz Pollock (possibly pictured) today called for the Rovers to get the same sort of support that turned up at the sevens on Saturday. "If we got a few thousand people along to Shed 1 all dressed up in costumes then it would certainly get the attention of the boys in the team" said Pollock "we need the supporters to get down to the wharf and make some noise". Pollock said she herself couldn't make the semi-final as she was at an undisclosed overseas location, but she hoped the Rovers fan club would be out in full. Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he was focussing on getting the players mentally and physically prepared for the big match. "We've got to lift our performance over that last match" said Hall "and we sure want another crack at Ten Left Feet".

Rovers Behave

No reported arrests of Rovers squad members have yet been advised by the Wellington Police following the two day party known as the Wellington Sevens. "There were some strange sights to be seen on the streets" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but somehow the lads managed to not get arrested although we can't be sure that Charlie will make it home for a few days yet". The New Zealand team lost to Fiji in the semi-final but were themselves beaten by Samoa. "I liked the grit and determination of that Samoan Team" said Hall "I think Rovers can learn something from that" said Hall "as well as maintaining our usual flair on the ball". Hall said the sevens showed even favoured teams could miss out on a semi-final and Rovers didn't want to follow suit.

Hall Concerned

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he was concerned for his players this weekend as the sevens tournament hit town. "The sevens has a bit of a reputation and I fear some of the players might not sober up in time for our semi-final on Wednesday" said Hall "there are only three days to get the blood alcohol levels down". Hall said there was a risk it would all go down the drain and become a "Good to Grate" situation. "I know of an organisation that lost a few people recently and is now struggling a bit to pick things back up" said Hall "we don't want the Rovers to drop our performance because of over-doing it in the weekend". Hall said at this stage he Charlie Smith wouldn't be playing in the crucial semi-final match. "I figure he won't have got home from the pub by Wednesday" said Hall "but he might get as far as the Shed of Dreams to watch".

Forgettable Experience

Charlie Smith said today that anyone who claims that they remember his farewell function won't have been there. Smith (pictured) only recently back from a frolic round European clubs and bars, said his farewell organiser George "Wannabe" Nash has promised him a good Scottish style farewell which is expected to involve excessive drinking and dancing. "I'm trying to get Chris 'Scummer' Riddle down for the night and of course by then the Rovers will have a championship to celebrate" said Smith. George Nash was unavailable for comment but is thought to have drawn up an itinerary that will ensure Charlie sees as many bars as possible in his send off evening. "I imagine I'll be prominent again on the dance floor at Molly's" said Smith "I've been a big hit there before after I've had a few". Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said Smith would be looked after to make sure he didn't do any table top dancing again. "The lad can get a bit carried away and we need to keep him away from impressionable young women" said Hall.

Hussey Doubtful

A cloud hung over Eddie Hussey this afternoon which was quite unusual as it was a rare sunny day in Wellington. Hussey may not be available for the vital semi-final clash against Brookers, which was a concern to Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall. "Eddie covers a lot of ground in a match and is a very good defender" said Hall "our best defensive line up seems to be Ben paired with Eddie, and either myself or Andy in goal". The indoor game is built on defence and we'll need to get that sorted for the next two games as we can't afford to give ten goals away again and expect to win". Hall said the availabilty of Mystery Matt would provide some much needed additional firepower up front and he was predicting a Rovers semi-final win by at least ten goals. "Brookers are a powder puff team but you never know what might happen in a sudden death scenario so we'll have to be up for it".

Pollock Says Toughen Up

Land Rovers Supporters President Liz Pollock said today that Rovers needed to stop playing like big girls if they were to take out the coveted Division 7 title. "I hope that 10 - 1 thrashing was a wake up call to the team" said Pollock "and I might have to get Jason in to teach them the finer points of Ice Hockey tactics, as frankly they've lost their spine since Chris Riddle moved on". Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he thought Rovers could reverse the 10 - 1 thrashing in the final, but the team needed to take one game at a time and beat Brookers in the semi-final first. "We'd like another crack at Ten Left Feet and I'm sure we won't be lacking motivation for the final". said Hall.

Munted

Land Rovers slumped to their heaviest league defeat today when taken to the cleaners by an energetic Ten Left Feet. "I blame myself" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall "as I stood myself down from selection for the day and the boys turned in a below par effort". Hall said the defensive side of the Rovers game fell apart and at time the opposition were walking through and taking pot shots. "The discipline wasn't there and I think we had too many easy games and failed to lift our game for the big match" said Hall "and Charlie (pictured) was a bit soft in goal". Fortunately the game was meaningless as far as qualification went and Land Rovers actually got the easier semi-final draw as a result. "We've drawn Brookers at 12.30 on 7 February at the Shed of Dreams" said Hall "and I'm expecting we'll be getting another crack at Ten Left Feet in two weeks".

Final Score: Rovers 1 Ten Left Feet 10

Smith's Dream Sunk By Rooney

As earlier predicted by Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall, Pompey are now out of the FA Cup after Manyoo gave them a lesson in football. "Charlie has been busy lately getting e mail from Chris Riddle's brother explaining why Pompey aren't up to much" said Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall "so he'll be disappointed that Manyoo have proved the point. Smith said he made a few observations about Southampton FC and has since been receiving a constant stream of e mail pointing out why Pompey aren't up to much. "There is a bit of a rivalry between the clubs" said Hall "but the way it's going Charlie had better not go near Southampton again".