Hall "What The Hell Is Wrong With The World?"

Land Rovers Manager Steve Hall said tonight from a harbourside restaurant in Sydney that having Portsmouth second in the English Premier League was disturbing enough, but Aston Villa are currently third. "I picked Villa to be a bottom half team and I'm sticking to that, but these early results are worrying and might be an early sign that my predictive powers are waning" said Hall. Hall said if this kept up he'd have to reconsider whether the kick and rush style of Portsmouth and Villa would be worth adopting to the indoor game. "Let's face it, Charlie plays in the Portsmouth style already and he even managed to score a goal once, so there might be something in it" said Hall. Hall said at least Manchester United were winning the league, so some good had come out of the early rounds.

Hall was winding up his Sydney visit and said the main things he'd learnt was that football management was only partly about vision, but more importantly about goals. "Obviously you have to have the vision to score a goal" said Hall "but unless you put it in the back of the net then you will be a fat lot of use". Hall said new age management theory talked a lot about Big Hairy Audacious Goals, but frankly he'd be happy if Rovers goals came from a short bald guy from two inches out, providing the goal counted. "Some of this modern management speak is a bit over the top" said Hall "let's face it it all comes down to who scores the most at the end of the day".