Hussey Hysteria

Plagued for weeks by a group of female admirers who follow him everywhere, Eddie Hussey has this morning officially declared himself a celebrity. "The female attention is flattering" said Hussey "but it's got to the point where I need an official fan club so that I can be more responsive to my admirers". Hussey said he would be looking to Trevor Hose and Mark "The Beast" Fatu for advice, as they had themselves gone through this female hysteria phase in the past. "I'll be helping Eddie out" said Mark "The Beast" Fatu "as I know what it is like to have many female admirers". Hussey said that whilst The Beast could offer some advice, he was hoping Hose could offer practical help and answer his phone and screen his calls starting Monday. "I'm becoming far to important to answer my own phone" said Hussey.

Land Rovers manager Steve Hall said the club had always had a throng of female admirers, and perhaps Hussey had been unwise to whip up the hysteria levels by taking his shirt off. "I know the lad had the best of intentions raising money for charity" said Hall "but frankly he's making a rod for his own front". Hall said Hussey should knuckle down and help Rovers win the league.