Pollock's Public Pirate Phantasy

Supporters Club President Liz Pollock today thought she had become a pirate, raising fears that the pressure of supporting Rovers was causing her to crack up. Wearing a badly constructed paper hat which made her look like Robin Hood, Pollock wandered round in a daze for most of the day yelling Avast! Avast! at anyone who came near her. "It's quite sad" said Rovers part time goal scorer Charlie Smith "we know she has a nautical bent, but frankly Nottingham isn't by the sea and the Forest have gone down to Division 1 these days". Smith said Robin Hood had reportedly gone to Notts County on a free transfer.

Sports Psychologist Liz O'Brien had reportedly shot through to work for a mysterious Government Department but had reportedly recommended "burning at the stake" as a cure for all modern ills. Land Rovers manager Steve Hall said that Pollock would feel much better after a "cup of tea and a lie down".