Fire Hose!!!

Rovers manager Steve Hall resisted calls tonight to offload Trevor Hose after he inquired why the media hadn't reported his recent "try" against Computer Says No. Hall immediately identified that Hose was suffering from Confused Recreation Syndrome (CRS) and suggested he have an immediate lie down. "This is usually a mild illness brought about by pressure of maintaining your place in the side, but in bad cases players become confused about the shape of their balls". Hall confirmed Hose had scored his debut goal on Monday and said Hose would remain in the Rovers squad. "Trevor's a good lad, and we all wish him a speedy recovery" said Hall.